This month's installment is going to take an in-depth look at a very serious problem that plagues bands in every genre of music and every corner of our collective musical world. It is a problem so rampant that we choose to accept it, support it, and in some cases, even encourage it. Those who suffer from it have no idea that they have it. It is not always easy to recognize, but once diagnosed, it is a long road to recovery. The cure is not an easy pill to swallow, for most deny even having the affliction at all. I am referring, of course, to how bad a band sucks. We all have opinions of any band and their level of suckdom. I want to try and help your band not suck (because somebody out there thinks it does).

First of all, I am not saying your particular band sucks. Far from it. You are out there playing shows and making music, and no matter what anybody says, that does not suck. What I am saying is that there are people who are going to say you suck, no matter how successful you become (and they'll probably say it more after you get famous), but I can give you pointers on how to give them less to feed on.

I try and have a very open mind when I see bands. I give them props for trying new things, having unconventional instrumentation, and taking the road less traveled. In some people's eyes, this theory sucks. Well, that's their loss. There are listeners that say you suck because you don't play their kind of music. Well, again, that's their loss. You will always have that. There are music lovers that can't stand the Beatles or Led Zeppelin. Again, their loss, and they should be thrown in a pit of fire ants. Those same people we just threw in to the pit of despair cannot say that those bands are not talented songwriters or musicians. They may not like the genre, but their musical influence cannot be denied. This is the musical, professional, and artistic level that you can reach. Really.

The key is -- if they are going to hate you and say you suck, make them look really hard for something to yell about.

Analyzing your band for shockwaves of suck is not as hard as you think. Do people leave the room when you perform? You may suck. All kidding aside, look inside of your band for things that need to be corrected.

• Here is a short list of common 'mistakes' that bands make that may be turning people (and record labels) away from you:
• Being too loud -- Yes, turn down and stop yelling!)
• Not being well rehearsed
• Not 'working the crowd'
• Cursing and drinking too much on stage
• Not having good material (remember songwriting)?
• Not being cordial to your fans
• Stage dress --For the love of Pete, no more vests or do-rags, even in country music. If you are bald(ing) (like me), lose the stupid rags and find a nice hat!
• No stage presence -- Really guys, look up from the floor every now and then.

These problems are common to the live performance. You may be awesome live, but still sound bad on a recording. (And vise-versa). Be aware of the professionalism of your recordings, too, because this is what people are going to take home with them and listen to (hopefully) over and over again.

These mistakes may or may not apply to you, but above all, your job is to be the best band you can be. This includes musicality. This separates bands very quickly, because a lot of guys frankly don't care. They just plug in and play as loud or as fast as they possibly can. Guess what? If you do this, you may suck. I used the word 'may' because I have seen awesome heavy, heavy bands that had a sense of music as well as an awareness of what they were trying to be. (And some people still said they sucked). Musicality is something that has to be learned, and it won't happen overnight. If you want to hear musicality, listen to jazz. They respect each other when playing, especially during solos. They use dynamics to their advantage, which is one thing that rock bands often lack. Yes, you can use dynamics in your show- I promise it will be more interesting if you do.

Musically, are you performing the best that you can? Are you always rehearsing, writing new songs, or listening for new influences? You owe it to yourself as well as the people who are shelling out part of their paycheck to see you to keep your show and your music as tight and musical as possible.

There may be a lot to swallow in this month's column, but the biggest thing you have to swallow is your pride. Step outside your own band and ask yourself if you would pay money to see you, or would you buy your own record? If there are things that need fixing, then do it. Now. If not, then the drummer will always miss that lick, the CD artwork will always look bad, and the do-rags will still be on your bass player's head. Play well.

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