"Half the fun of a trip is getting there". How true is this? If you are looking at touring, then it really can be a blast to climb in the van and drive for 10 hours with your brothers in arms. Some of the best stories come from this time, whether it is breaking down at 3AM, or how embarrassed the bass player got when he was talking lovey-dovey on his cell phone. The hours you spend together bring you closer, and hopefully that carries over to your live show as well. When I was in the van and trailer, I was yearning for the days of the next level - the prized tour bus. In what we do, it's really the brass ring, that huge, metallic symbol of ridiculous spending and ego. I didn't care that I couldn't make my rent. I just knew that I wanted to be in a bus (rather than under one), but didn't know how much it was, let alone even been in one. I just knew that beyond that sleek, key-coded door lay a wonderful world, open to only a select few, and I wanted in. I have been lucky enough to be living in a bus for the past seven months, so I thought I would share some things you need to know about living in a rolling hotel. I won't lie. It really is pretty cool. When I first walked onto a bus, I was lost. There are lots of things to look at, play with - doors that slide open and cool lighting and stereos all over. It's a little weird when you first get in. You have to remember that there is a fine line at work here. It is your home, but it is owned by someone else. That means you enjoy everything, but do it within reason. But I am getting ahead of myself… First, the artist generally doesn't own the bus. There are superstars that buy them, but most times they are leased from a bus company, and the lease includes a driver. They can be leased for a weekend or a year. The driver is your best friend. A good one will keep the bus off the rumble strips and let you get your 8 hours of beauty rest, cupcake. He also keeps the bus clean inside and out, because there is a lot of entertaining going on, and a clean bus looks nicer than a dirty one. Different busses cost different amounts of money. Sometimes artists that are starting out can't afford the nicest bus, so you get one that may be a few years old and has been worn in a bit. (Think riding in an older airplane). Sometimes the artist has a trailer, sometimes not. My first run out we didn't have a trailer, so you realize very quickly that your gear has to fit under the bus with everyone else's. Keep this in mind when you think you need 3 basses on the road. You don't. OK, yes you do. Of course a trailer can cure all of this. Once you have climbed aboard and picked out a bunk (I prefer the driver's side bottom bunk), then get settled in. Plug in your phone charger, your ipod charger, etc, and only keep things in there that you need. Always have a book and a bottle of water. I take an extra pillow from the unused bunk, called the 'junk bunk', for added comfort. The junk bunk is for the extra things you don't want riding with the luggage or gear under the bus like your laptop bag, jacket, or your small 'carry on' bag. This bag should be packed with an extra change of clothes and toiletries. Sometimes the bus has to roll before you can change, and nobody likes to sleep in their gig clothes, so there's the reasoning. All busses have bathrooms, and some have showers. The water is not potable. That means you don't drink it. That's why there is always bottled water on the rider. Bottled water is your friend. Like I said, everybody takes one to their bunk, and you have to brush your teeth with it, too. Showering on the bus is OK, if need be, but if 5 people are showering, you have to conserve water. Take a 'Navy shower' which is getting wet, turning off the water, lathering, turning on the water to rinse. That way everybody gets some. And let the artist shower first. Life on the bus is fun, if everybody is of the same mindset. The bus is your home. Treat it as such. Respect is the key to a happy bus. If someone brought personal food onboard, don't eat it. It's not yours. Don't change the channel on somebody if they are watching a movie. Remember your manners, and keep in mind there are 6-11 other people on that bus. Things can get nasty really fast if you are not careful. Keep your stuff out of the common areas. Nobody wants to trip over your shoes in the front lounge when they get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Rule #1 on the bus - any bus - NO #2 in the bathroom. Some busses have 'grinders' that well, grind it up, but even then you don't want to go #2. The smell will find its way into the bus, and that makes for a long, long bus ride having to smell that for any length of time. Plus, the driver is in charge of dumping the toilet, and they will charge you extra for solid waste disposal. Now that we have that out of the way, let's have some fun. Basically the bus rolls after a gig so we wake up in the next town. You know that sometimes after a gig you want to stay up, and a bus is a great place for that. We have built-in coolers, a full bar, flat screen TV's and satellite. There is also a back lounge so there is more than one place to hang out. If you don't want to see anybody, crawl in your bunk and watch TV or pop in a movie. If you are hungry, pull something out of the two fridges and heat it up. Make coffee. Make cookies. Do whatchalike. The (real) reason for using a bus is to provide rest for the band and the artist. At least that's what we tell management. Not having to drive all night to a gig is wonderful, I won't lie, and getting sleep is really important. Another rule - if someone is in their bunk, don't pull the curtain unless you have made your presence known. Don't look in people's bunks while they are sleeping (except for the occasional practical joke), and don't rifle through anybody's things. Again - it all goes back to respect. I've heard stories of theft on busses between band members, which is just wrong. Here are some more things to think about on the bus. Your tour manager should have posted a daily sheet, letting you know when and where you are supposed to be for the day. Know where that is. Also, the driver is #1. If there is only one hotel room ready when we arrive, it goes to the driver. He's the one who has been up all night. Another piece of bus etiquette is to not bring people you do not know on the bus. Remember, it is not just your home, but everybody else's. If everybody is asleep, take the party somewhere else. Some busses are called 'star coaches' meaning there is no back lounge, but rather a bedroom for the artist to use. In my opinion, they take away from the comfort level, because there is no place to hang out except in the front lounge. Everybody needs space from time to time. Here's another thing about the back lounge. It is also the artist's respite area. This is where an artist can get away, or hold court. He can talk to his band, his girlfriend, his girlfriend for the night, whatever, but it's sort of the conference room/confessional/don't ask room. If the door is locked, don't knock. If you are supposed to be back there behind the closed door, you will be. I've seen guys lose gigs because of not understanding the code. Be careful. If you are a 'hired gun' as I am, then you need to remember that it's not your bus, merely a means of transportation, and the artist has the last word. If he wants to smoke, hopefully he'll do it away from the non-smokers, or if he wants to bring that radio PD up, then you need to clear out and let him entertain. If you are on the bus with your band, your record deal, then in that case - it's your bus, do your thing. The respect level should be there either way, and you still shouldn't go #2. And wear pants in the front lounge. Please. All these rules will flex and vary as time goes on and you figure out the way everybody works. You may have to watch a few football games you don't want to see, or listen to some music you may not like, but you may also be doing it to them. You'll figure it all out. When touring in a van or car, then things are different, not just in creature comfort, but in one of the hidden joys of touring. More of the world is visible from the front seat of a van, so seeing the country is easier. We stay cooped up with the shades down or lay in our bunks with the world zooming by. When you tour in a bus, make it a point to ride up front with the driver for a little while each trip. He'll want the company, but you also have a huge window to see what you have been missing. Our country really is beautiful, and should not be taken for granted. There's the glimpse into the life in the submarine, as I call it. I sincerely hope that all of you can do at least one gig on a bus. It's a very cool moment when you walk into one for the first time and it pulls out of town with you watching TV in your bunk. One of my favorite moments is walking off the bus in the morning, sleepy and hazy having no idea where I am or what time it is. There is a comfortable ignorance about the whole thing that makes me smile. It's a great little affirmation that 'I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggoneit, people like me.' See you on the road. |