Dum duh dum dum !!! ( REALLY lame attempt at Dragnet theme )

It was 6:30 pm in our fair city and I was loading into the venue for yet another evening of ridding the world of less than stellar grooves. The gig was fairly high profile and, to add more interesting developments, there were camera crews everywhere, some of the biggest producers in the music and television industry socializing, full cast of a new reality show, and even a legendary NFL hero sitting there watching his daughter, who we just happened to have been booked to play for on said night. I was beginning to think to myself, "Self, this might not be your average gig."

Dum de dum dum ( even lamer repeat of said theme )

The producers and artist were in High Observation Mode while checking out the motley crew of individuals I'd brought with me. (See, we call it a "band"; they call it a group of miscreants - or worse.) This was your average "under the microscope scenario", especially since I was recommended as Musical Director by one of the aforementioned producers. This, kiddies, was a golden opportunity to prove myself and the ability of a strong core batch of musicians for a major network TV show. Pretty important we didn't suck! So what was this Average Joe on the beat of the music industry to do to solidify the position for the rest of the season? Repeat after me my Keepers of the One:

Protect and Serve.

As bass players, we're constantly reminded that our number one goal is to keep the groove. How often, though, do we remind ourselves of the importance of "protecting" the groove and, even more importantly, the SONG? Now, I'm not saying we try to nestle the groove in our arms and make sweet faces and say "coochie, coochie, coo." That does sound adorable, though. (Uh, not really.) Actually, I've gotten to the point where I protect the groove more like your average backwoods father wearing torn overalls, a straw hat, and a shotgun at his daughter's wedding to that feller that just "ain't right." Basically, "You ain't taking my groove unless you go through me. Ya hear?"

The protection of any and all groovage will always be an integral part of your survival as a professional bassist. This is especially true in the instance of the TV show, since I knew for a fact we were going to be syncing up to some recorded masters later on in the editing process. Needless to say, a little wavering in time would not have been desirable. I guess that means I only give the drummer one pint of ale before the show. He might not care for that, though. We MAY need to keep him pre-occupied. "Dude, look at the butterfly."

So anyway my Perpetuators of Stank, it is 100% imperative to get in the habit of protecting the groove on all songs and make sure of the following:

Your timing is consistent. -- This can be interesting if you're running to the gig, all jacked up on espresso, checking out the hotty at the bar, your drummer sucks, your guitar player pushes like he is giving birth, and, and, and, and . . . focus, Groove-hopper, FOCUS.

Be very mindful of the tune and the artist's vision of it. -- Remember, kiddies, this is not OUR gig; it's theirs. Especially in high profile performances. Our ONLY responsibility in the long run is to make the artist appear bigger than life and I'm not talking about them hitting the All You Can Eat China Buffet every day of the week for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And finally the most important:

SERVE the song. -- Don't get in the mindset that "this is my big break" and play every lick you know. Play what the song NEEDS and no more. Trust me, nothing sucks worse than having the chops to get the gig and then getting fired because you used them all on the gig.

Serving the song is the key to survival in any chosen musical genre. Granted, I think it would be a blast myself to do my best Jaco imitation on a pop country tune but I've recently gotten used to affording food, so I digress.

Serve the song like you would your sweetheart on a quiet evening at home. Ooo, That's right, baby. Bring the lights down low, make them feel all warm and wanted, and let the evening be all about them. Oh yeah, that's nice!! By doing this for any artist, we as professional bassists can continue some of the things I have really learned to cherish. Some of these chosen oddities are buying groceries, paying bills, and not having to break the "Will Play Bass for Food" sign out of the closet.

Don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean you have to toss out your musical soul to be a professional musician. Actually, I used to have that gig and can't say I miss it. No, the good news is that nothing grooves harder and is hipper than a highly protected and served song. When a band is tightly focused on the same goal as the artist, they're an unstoppable force. Case in point: the beginning of our story of this Average Bass Joe. The band came in for the TV show taping and we all made a commitment to protect and serve the groove and lo, it was glorious. The artist was elated, the producers didn't fire us, other cast members decided to use the same band for some of their performances, the Music Consultant didn't have to leave the room crying, the camera crew was indifferent, and the NFL legend actually posed for the obligatory fan photo. In my book we call this a success.

So there it is, my fellow Groove Saviors. Remember that even though we may be Average Joes and Joe-ettes in this crazy world known as the music industry, we can indeed protect and serve the groove, make the song something from the heavens, keep the singer away from the buffet line, let the drummer have his other ale, get paid and yet again save the world from less than stellar grooves. Until next time.

Keep Groovin',

S

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