We have an emergency here!! I need 5,000 mg of soul and a syringe full of stank STAT!!! No, dang it, we can't wait for the sax player to get here; we have to go in now. What do you mean the singer is rushing the tempo and the keyboard player has a blunt force trauma to the pocket? I don't care about that; we have to make it groove and we have to make it groove now. We're losing 'em. The booties are not shaking and the arrangement resembles the mayhem involved with an undergarment special on tax-free weekend. We have to, we have to, wait, no... say it isn't so. The groove is flat-lining. Nooooo.... we lost 'em. If only there would've been an MD on duty.

Musical Director that is.

Sorry about the lame theatrics. I was feeling rather corny tonight and ran out of good ideas, so there you go. Anyhoo, it has been a wee bit since last we talked on ye Ole Music Business Survival and I wanted to talk about a great way to expand your musical awareness and pad the old pocket a little more on artist dates. I'm talking about working toward becoming the MD or Musical Director for the artist. Some folks call it Band Leader. I call it a Sling Groove. Now, lucky for us there are not ump-teen years of college and internships to accomplish said goal, but you may have to kiss a certain part of the anatomy on occasion. Much to my dismay, it does not taste like ice cream. Seriously, a Musical Director position can be very rewarding and offer you some outstanding insight as to the mechanics of not only the music you are performing but the music industry as well.

So you're thinking to yourself, "Self, I can lead this batch of merry timekeepers and make this band rule the Earth. It can't be THAT bad. We all get along and have a great time making music." Sounds stellar doesn't it ? Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy? Guess what? NOT SO MUCH.

One of the hardest things I've ever done is become Musical Director on a number of gigs. It wasn't necessarily the fact that the music was particularly challenging. My first MD gig was for a nationally signed blues artist, so I wasn't afraid of the occasional IV chord. It also wasn't necessarily the fact that being MD means you wear multiple hats at all times. I've always been quite able to juggle learning tunes, scheduling players, being fully aware of everyone's part so I can tell them they are wrong, walking and chewing gum. (Honestly, still working on those last two.) It boiled down to the fact that, no matter how much you think you are prepared for the gig, there are a number of challenges you won't be prepared for.

The first challengeis the amount of time involved in being Musical Director. Trust me when I say it -- if you're smart, you'll make sure you negotiate for a better pay rate before saying "I'd love to lead this batch of peeps as band leader." Those could be famous last words for certain. It may also cause you to be admitted into the psych ward of Our Lady of Perpetual Funk because you didn't realize that when everyone else is snuggled up cozy in their beds you would still up late, all jacked up on espresso writing charts, subbing out the triangle player because he had a better paying gig, or just going insane. Still want the gig?

As bad as it sounds, being Musical Director is one of my favorite positions to have. There is indeed a lot to keep in mind with the role though. By assuming the position, literally and figuratively, it is now your responsibility to make sure musicians have all the material they need to learn the songs ( i.e. charts, CDs, drool cups ). This sounds simple enough but depending on the tour or TV production, the reality is that YOU may not have this info to pass on until the witching hour.

Case in point: As you know from past articles, I was recently involved as Musical Director with a reality TV show for FOX. Reality TV changes minute by minute as I soon found out. And more times than not, I did not receive necessary tunes until the night before or sometimes the day of the show taping. This was particularly interesting considering that I was now responsible for getting everything charted and then getting the charts to the host of musicians working with me so we could learn the tunes. And I "wanted" this gig?

Now that I've told you every reason you DON'T want the gig, let's look at the good stuff. In review, we have discussed the fact that you are responsible for charting and knowing the tunes inside and out, and you are responsible for the musicians as well. Who better to accomplish this task than the Saviors of Stank? That's right kiddies!!! The Low-Enders once again get to save the day. As bass players, we are inherently one of the most logical candidates for Musical Director because it's our JOB to be aware of all of the musical goings-on. Who has more of a tie to rhythm, groove, chord changes, and the melody than the bassist? (Ask the Dali Lama that question next time you see him.)

The best part of being MD is the fact that it will make you a much better musician yourself. I have grown tremendously from every Musical Director position I've held because I was so in tune with every aspect of the music. Isn't musical growth one of the things we strive for the most in life? My answer is an unequivocal YES!

Well, there it is my Guardians of Groovitude. Being Musical Director isn't for everyone but if you want a great opportunity to really get involved with an artist, it may be something to focus on. There is nothing quite as rewarding as when a band you supplied to an artist really comes in and does a phenomenal job and in turn you were able to grow your musical understanding as well as your bank account, find a triangle player that will work for scale, somehow keep the singer from hitting on the bartender, and save the world from yet another lame groove. Keep it in mind if the opportunity ever rears its ugly head. You may find yourself another marketable niche to help that phone ring.

I'm off for more coffee. Until next time.

Keep groovin',

S

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