Ya know I better stop there.

Now in a lot of situations that opening statement could go very wrong when left to the imagination of us low-end loving folks. Especially for the people in the world that may be aware of the rather R-rated (or worse) poem that typically ensues with the same theme.

For those of you that know Ol' Baldy Locks here, right about now you are wondering a) what in the Sam hill am I talking about and b)where in the heck this might be going. Oddly enough the opening statement was just for fun since it's the closest I can get to being clever at the moment. The actual premise of this month's Music Business Survival extravaganza is that fact that I caught myself by not finishing what would have more than likely been a rather rude comment if I had finished. FYI: most people realize that I have this amazing lack of controlling my "inside voice" but I am trying to improve on that (fingers crossed behind back)……..as far as you know.

Now if you're still confused, don't fret because I tend to have that effect on people. No, my Thumpers of the Big Strings, your dear Baldy Locks was trying to show some form of etiquette, which is a true stretch and that is where our adventure begins.

Having some etiquette and manners in the civilized world is pretty simple. Basically, saying excuse me if you sneeze, a napkin in your lap at dinner, saying "Yes Sir" when you meet your girlfriend's father for the first time (just did that), not pinching the Hooter's girl's assets when she brings you hot wings (probably shouldn't have done that), remembering to zip your fly before you take stage (forgot that and they got it on film). All of these are examples of some basic etiquette. Of course, for some of us this is a work in progress, especially if there are Hooter's girls in the vicinity. So what does this have to do with music? I'll answer that question with another question:

How is your Groove Etiquette?

In a nutshell, having Groove Etiquette is knowing when to play and, even more importantly, when NOT to play. Just as in real life, the parameters for this change from day to day according to the situation you are in. For instance, if you are on a country club jazz gig or symphony performance chances are that you're not pulling out your best flurry of 64th note slap trills using only your left ring finger and a hand mixer. In the real world if you are so inclined to say - get booked again - there is a good chance you are sticking to the basics needed to propel the tune as needed. Yes kiddies, the starck truth is that the all mighty paycheck is not determined by the number of notes we play. But guess what? It actually grooves better when you play just what the song needs.

Even though we would all love to use our parlor tricks on every gig, the real trick for us low-enders is to not use them. Granted some of you are laughing right now if you have seen my live solo show or any performances with The Justin Conn Band, since I get to use all of my tricks on those gigs. Lane calls me a Circus Freak. [I got that from YOU, pal. ED.] The important thing to note is that it's OK on THOSE gigs. All of us working bassists should keep a host of gigs that are fun and an outlet for our inner funkdom. Just be conscious that you don't need to do over-handed slap riffs up and down the neck during "Achey Breaky". I could have done that but BRC would not have been amused and that whole house payment thing would have been more difficult.

Knowing when to play is arguably the most important skill any musician can master. I have been playing for nearly 25 years and still deal with this as all of you will. For instance, with Cyrus the key for me was to keep it to the meat and potatoes bass parts. I even found myself playing simpler than the parts on the record so as not to get in anyone's way musically and it seriously grooved. This is also my default setting on any studio tracking session. Don't play too much and only what is needed and chances are everyone will be happy. Sometimes that is exactly what the song needs even though we may instinctly want to play more. Remember it is ALWAYS better to have the artist, producer, or musical director ask you to play more than to ask you to play less. The curse of "over-playing" can get you fired quicker than the Millenium Falcon in an asteroid field. Luckily, I was able to incorporate this rationale into my daily life of groovitude and it keeps my phone ringing.

A couple of basic analogies of Groove Etiquette are as follows:

1) Bass players are the music world's Harley Davidson. Keep that groove FAT AND LOW so the artist can cruise and look their coolest. The last thing you want to do is be the preverbal pebble in the road that causes the band to turn the bike over, dismember the lead singer, and cause a multi-groove pile up.

2) Bass players are the palette with which the artist can paint their vision. If you want the producer or artist to keep smiling and have their "happy tree" moment, always play for the song and what is needed. If they want you to be part of the color in their landscape, they'll tell you. Just remember: way too much Burnt Umber on a lemon painting looks more like a rotten spot than a piece of art. You don't want to groove all over the painting. It doesn't wash off easily.

So there are some basics for you. I'll get more into the concept of Groove Etiquette in future editions of Music Business Survival. Until then, just remember that it is always best to stick to the basics when you first go to propel the groove - no matter what scenario you are in. If the song needs more it (or the deciding body) will tell you and you can then stank it up, save the world from yet another lame groove, get paid, and rule the day.

Until next time.

Keep grooving,

S

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